The Glass is Full

This bead journal project is teaching me a lot about myself.

It's interesting to see what happens when you sit down with just yourself; just you, your thoughts, your needle and your thread...and you have no plan.

There are definitely emotions that are lurking just beneath the surface that I bring to my needlework every day; but, this bead journal project is making me more aware of how those emotions are really affecting me.

This month I learned that my emotions are not just affecting me but they are controlling me...

In the beginning of this month, I was feeling pressured to start my November's BJP and this is where I began. I happened to start it the night after Mr. Obama's election, after watching the Nightly News and hearing about more jobs lost and even greater stock market plunges.

In the moment, I was anxious and afraid and ungrounded. What I wanted to bead in the moment was the idea of juggling...juggling money, work, children, earth's resources...and the black hand, originally meant, the black hand of Mr. Obama.

I tried to sit down with this piece many times over the past month...and the thoughts that were speaking to me were never those anxious thoughts. So, I started to bead like Robin says..."Just put a bead that you love somewhere and start" So, I picked a bead I loved, placed it on the fabric, and began to bead...

I would do this for a while but it wasn't long before I put it back down. It wasn't feeling right. I tried many times to pick up that piece, but I was not channeling it. I didn't like the fabric...it was discordant...it was too busy...and was causing me anxiety just looking at it. I had to change it so I went searching through my stash.

When I found this new fabric, it was like my mind had come home. Here is my new approach and I can tell you that my needle feels much more at home in this Eden.


You see, I'm naturally very optimistic. Very positive in my thoughts and, I hope, in my deeds. That anxious moment for me was a fleeting one...Sure, I'm still anxious, but I don't tend to live in any negative or anxious state for too long.

It's no longer Mr. Obama's hand, but it's mine and it is overflowing with abundance. I've never really seen the glass half-full OR half-empty -- I've always seen it as a full glass. The idea of half-full never enters into my mind.

If you remember the exercise I learned in Robin's class, we're supposed to write a list of words that are stream-of-consciousness and come to our mind when we look at our work...Here's a link to Robin's process and to some of her resulting poems.

Here's my list of words for this month...

abundance...life...lush...overflowing...guilt...gratitude...beauty...handiwork...gifts
jewels...God...earth...gratitude

Now, I'm off to pack up my beads to take to Fort Worth, Texas for our annual visit to Jim's family for Thanksgiving...A place I love to visit and where I hope to get a lot of beading done...