Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Glass is Full

This bead journal project is teaching me a lot about myself.

It's interesting to see what happens when you sit down with just yourself; just you, your thoughts, your needle and your thread...and you have no plan.

There are definitely emotions that are lurking just beneath the surface that I bring to my needlework every day; but, this bead journal project is making me more aware of how those emotions are really affecting me.

This month I learned that my emotions are not just affecting me but they are controlling me...

In the beginning of this month, I was feeling pressured to start my November's BJP and this is where I began. I happened to start it the night after Mr. Obama's election, after watching the Nightly News and hearing about more jobs lost and even greater stock market plunges.

In the moment, I was anxious and afraid and ungrounded. What I wanted to bead in the moment was the idea of juggling...juggling money, work, children, earth's resources...and the black hand, originally meant, the black hand of Mr. Obama.

I tried to sit down with this piece many times over the past month...and the thoughts that were speaking to me were never those anxious thoughts. So, I started to bead like Robin says..."Just put a bead that you love somewhere and start" So, I picked a bead I loved, placed it on the fabric, and began to bead...

I would do this for a while but it wasn't long before I put it back down. It wasn't feeling right. I tried many times to pick up that piece, but I was not channeling it. I didn't like the fabric...it was discordant...it was too busy...and was causing me anxiety just looking at it. I had to change it so I went searching through my stash.

When I found this new fabric, it was like my mind had come home. Here is my new approach and I can tell you that my needle feels much more at home in this Eden.


You see, I'm naturally very optimistic. Very positive in my thoughts and, I hope, in my deeds. That anxious moment for me was a fleeting one...Sure, I'm still anxious, but I don't tend to live in any negative or anxious state for too long.

It's no longer Mr. Obama's hand, but it's mine and it is overflowing with abundance. I've never really seen the glass half-full OR half-empty -- I've always seen it as a full glass. The idea of half-full never enters into my mind.

If you remember the exercise I learned in Robin's class, we're supposed to write a list of words that are stream-of-consciousness and come to our mind when we look at our work...Here's a link to Robin's process and to some of her resulting poems.

Here's my list of words for this month...

abundance...life...lush...overflowing...guilt...gratitude...beauty...handiwork...gifts
jewels...God...earth...gratitude

Now, I'm off to pack up my beads to take to Fort Worth, Texas for our annual visit to Jim's family for Thanksgiving...A place I love to visit and where I hope to get a lot of beading done...

16 comments:

Barbara C said...

I'm glad you listened to your gut feelings. The new fabric changes the whole mood of the piece and your beading really delivers that feeling of abundance. Thanks for a peek into your process.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Lynn said...

This is fantastic. Thank you for sharing the story behind it. I can relate to it on so many levels. I really did like your first thoughts about the juggling act we all perform everyday, but I too, prefer the more optimistic route in life. Enjoy your trip - Happy Thanksgiving!

Carol said...

Happy Thanksgiving. A time for retrospective thought about all that life has given us.

This is a great page. The background fabric is much more representative of the person we see in your blog posts.

You know yourself so well.

I love your page. The beads you used are perfect.

Judy S. said...

Nice work, Susan! Is that second fabric a batik? It's really nice and so much more YOU. Have a safe trip, and a fabulous Thanksgiving.

Marty52 said...

This fabric is much better... thanks for letting us in on your thought processes, it's very interesting! This is going to be very cool!

Debra said...

I like both ideas. A whole series of hands would be a wonderful way to celebrate all that comes in and out of our hands.

Enjoy Texas! It's the best place to be! *wink*

Lisa said...

I love this. The green fabric is so much more calm and the stream of flowery beads makes me think of sparkling fountains of blessings, cool, crisp, clear, refreshing, renewing. Lovely! Have a fabulous time in Texas!

Mary Corbet said...

Oh, Pretty! I love the spilling beads!

Happy Thanksgiving, Susan!

a2susan said...

It's so interesting how changing one factor can change the entire piece, and reflect your true feelings! I love reading your blog for all your insights. And for the great photos.

Elmsley Rose said...

What Barbara C said! :-)

Great piece!

Allison Ann Aller said...

You have a real gift for conveying those inward, wordless states of mind and consciousness.
This is beautiful!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving, dear one....

Camilla La Mer-Art Dolls said...

You put your inner process into words so beautifully. What a jubilant transformation!

Tracey N. said...

Wow I am amazed by this piece just as it is today! I love the new choice of fabric, the perfect colors of the bead and most of all, your beautiful attitude towards life! If you dont add another thing to this piece, it would be perfect as is. I wish my mind worked like yours. It is beautiful beyond words.

MargB said...

Lovely susan
Can't wait to see the beading. thankyou for the lovely thoughts expressed so well!

Wanda said...

Your journey is fascinating. And the fact that you can share it, so clearly and wonderfully, is amazing. I hope I reach the point where I can look at myself as well. But I took many steps back a couple years ago and haven't got all caught up again. It will come though.

Kiwi Ellen said...

WOW that is superb!

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